King Cake

So this recipe to make a traditional King Cake is way simple. 

All you need is:
  • 2 packages of cinnamon rolls (found in the cooler section of the grocery store; I like Annie’s because they use organic palm oil).
  • Brown sugar 
  • Butter (or butter substitute)
  • Purple, Green & Gold sprinkles 
  • A handful of plastic babies. (Easily found on Amazon. Tip; if you order the “Hispanic” babies they have a full head of hair and are *way* less creepy than the Caucasian ones.) 
  • A bundt pan (easily found at you moms house or Walmart) 
  • A bowl
  • A brush (I used a BBQ brush since my baking brush had recently been re-purposed as a make up brush). 

In case you didn’t know; the King Cake tradition hails from New Orleans - originally brought over from France in the late 1800’s. The cakes are typically eaten between Mardi Gras (January 6th, King’s Day through Fat Tuesday in March). 

Whoever finds the plastic baby in their piece of cake is supposed to receive good luck & also deemed responsible for making the cake for next years celebration. 

The cake itself symbolizes the biblical “three kings” & the plastic baby in the cake is supposed to be representative of “Baby Jesus”, and the “search” for the baby in the cake an allegory for the real search for baby Jesus back in the day in Bethlehem - but way less violent and horrific. The purple, green and gold colors on the cake represent justice, faith, and power. 

So anyway, start by preheating your oven to 350. 

Melt about half a stick of butter (or butter substitute) in a small bowl, and brush the inside of the bundt pan with a thin coat. 

Sprinkle the inside of the bundt pan with a light layer of brown sugar, then layer the cinnamon rolls around in the pan. 

It said on the package to open the container of cinnamon rolls with a spoon; but apparently the people that wrote those instructions are fucking liars. 

I definitely had to use a knife and their was a *slight* struggle. 

After you’ve got all the doughy rolls in the pan - coat with one more layer of butter (or whatever) - and fold one *plastic* baby in the cake. 

So, I actually just put a bountiful handful of babies in - since Amazon sent a package of like 9000. 

And - I actually put the babies on the *top*, after it’s been baked and decorated- so when I bring the cake into work; no one can sue me for chipping their dumb veneer on a hidden plastic baby. 

Bake the cake for about 25-30 minutes. The cinnamon roll package said 18-20 minutes, but the rolls cook differently when their not laying flat on a pan. 

While the cake is baking; I suggest putting the icing packets in a bowl of hot water so it warms the icing to a perfect consistency for painting on the cake. 

Once the cake is done baking; let it cool for about 30 minutes - then flip the bundt pan upside down over on a cake plate (or regular super fancy Mardi Gras worthy plate) - and paint on your icing. 

Tip; you can actually just use the brush you used to paint on the butter, so you’ll have less dishes to leave in the sink for a few days until you finally get around to washing them. 

I also suggest adopting a rescue dog from your local humane society; they make great baking assistants. 

Sprinkle on your Purple, Green and Gold sprinkles - and top off with plastic babies. 

Et voila! 

Bring to to the office to share with your co workers while simultaneously impressing and terrifying them. 

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